#i dont wanna add a ton of tags but!

[lightningfilledsaber]

speaking of new icon... 6 mo voice update for my fellow tumblrinas <3

[auckie]

I think the things that offend me most nowadays in like, smaller interpersonal interactions rather than grand, sweeping trends in culture, are when people chose to not partake in a wide set of things. Like musical close mindedness, or refusal to try different foods from different cultures. Not watching an entire subset of films bc they’re ‘french’. Avoiding reading bc you say you have adhd and it’s too hard. Like dude I get it, I’m busy. I can be picky. Everyone can. But the willful ignorance of closing yourself off to those VAST portions of the human experience, and not having curiosity and a lust to learn and explore art that was made by someone worlds apart from you either in terms of their culture, era, whatever. I dunno man it just pisses me off so bad. I think it’s arrogant. Like oh you’re comfortable in your safe little bubble huh? And you’re enforcing its barriers with the excuse that you’re autistic and have sensory issues. With music made by black people?? lol okay. It is pretty presumptuous for me to assume malicious intent but I think those prejudices are borne from either the comfort of being someone who’s wealthy and probably white not feeling the need to learn past what they think is enough, or it’s a reflection of a society that’s taught you to prioritize what it shills— popular, current (white, depending where you live ig) artists who are making streamlined, easy to digest content. Often when I meet people with these issues they’ll have one particular ‘niche’, and it tends to be like. 70s music. Victorian literature. Anime and Japanese games. But they’re still not really investing beyond the media presented. Like there’s so much more to Japanese culture than liking some cartoons put out between 2010-2020. You don’t gotta become some sorta Einstein who learns the background of every little freak in FGO yeah. But don’t you wanna aim higher? Aren’t you interested in any of the historical figures? And nothings wrong with hopping onto a trend. You read Dracula bc of that Dracula daily thing. Cool! Read more. Some people will say they’re chronically ill or disabled and can’t get outside. That’s okay. The internet is full of things you can read other than fanfiction, YouTube has a shit ton of free music. There’s Wikipedia and free articles online if you have questions about things. Yeah nobody is spending four hours a day looking at the national archives website and studying art history but it’s imbued in the things around you, and youll absorb it ambiently as you go along. you dont have to be a jack of all trades and cover every major genre of every major medium, but it never hurts to try! I really love seeing ppl ask too. Bc it can be kind of humiliating to admit to what seems like some jackass hipster that you’ve never delved into, idk, Serbian films (lol not that one). And hopefully if whoever you’re asking will give you honest good recommendations and not berate you. I’m kind of berate a straw man rn I guess. The hostile tone def doesn’t lend to an atmosphere of sharing but I cannot tell you how many times I’ve rbed anything involving specifically jazz only to see someone rb and add the stupidest comment on the post, or in the tags, or go into my inbox to be like waaah I don’t like jazz bc it’s boring and old and for pretentious hypocrites who hate neurodivergent people! Like what are you TALKING about. Fine if you don’t like it but don’t try and rationalize that as a moral standing you shit lark. And just as they’re allowed to dislike jazz I’m allowed to not really enjoy people who don’t like jazz. Or country. Nautical knots. Knit wear. Watching urbex YouTubers get their shit rocked by squatters. Korean food. Pachuco fashion and stupid ugly low riders. Bollywood films. and they don’t want to try any of those things either yknow? The next thing I’m getting into is circuit bending.

[autumngremlin]

Medias I've used the most with my shifting journey (in a /pos way):

Tiktok: Accounts that have script templates is a MASSIVE timesaver if you don't know what reality you want to shift to (plus you can just delete stuff you dont wanna use) or too lazy to make your own. I've seen a variety between popular scripts to lesser known ones and even completely blank ones with just themes! I've also discovered GoodNotes through shifttok (which does have a paid subscription if you want to do more than 3 scripts, but if you like to have a digital bullet journal/scrapbook feel, it wouldn't hurt to try out/pos) along with how other people script which was interesting to me! The biggest puller for me personally is the art people make for/of their DRs as someone that does it themselves (and it gives me an excuse to gush over the person's art as a whole!)

Tumblr: Before I got back into shifting, I used to thread through the various tags for pngs/icons, banners and headers for my grimoire and my digital planner for college (and admire art and aesthetic stuff, along with info for said grimoire but that's unrelated). I even had to start a sideblog so I dont lose track of stuff I wanna use eventually. Tumblr also allows me to stay connected to my DRs by indulging in fics, fanart, headcanons, and other things that could trigger inspiration for a scenario (or an unintended memory/blip)

Amino: Yeahh I know it's not a lotta people's cup of tea. It takes some digging around to find some potentially useful stuff and if the community has a masterlist for it, there's divination shops/teams and free pick-a-pile readings! Some even submit script templates that you can copy+paste. I kinda just lurk around, do the daily check-in and keep track of angel numbers I've seen the day before for my spiritual journey but thats just me being me lmao

Pinterest: My other visual savior for scripting! I almost have a board for every reality I have a script for visualizing and refs for when I want to connect through making art. I know I can just download the images and add them to my actual script, but finding the stuff as is is enough work for me and I don't wanna spend more time scripting than I actually need to (and it makes sense for my adhd brain)

Notion: What I originally used for academics now houses a digital grimoire and a script hub. I don't remember what pulled me in to using it since I first started in 2019. I just became more obsessed the more I found out about how people set theirs up and make the layout as minimalist or maximalist as they wanted. I will say there are some limitations between using Notion on a phone vs. a computer or tablet along with the occasional hiccup, but overall it works effectively for me that makes it organized and pleasing to the eye

Etsy: Yep.. a place to shop. I used to splurge a ton on readings on there early in my journey (I still do every now and then now that I found some personal favorite shops) but you can also connect to your DRs without it being specifically shifting-related, like candles or wax melts— even a pin or keychain that reminds you of it somehow.

[not-poignant]

u seem like the kinda person who'd know about this? apologies if u dont want these sorta asks, my sole source of fan stuff is ao3 and this specific page but i will totally understand if u dont wanna answer !

u know the trope where like. little evil guy goes thru horrific traumatising event and/or everyone discovers they previously went thru horrific traumatising event and then everyone feels sorry for them and, yknow, feels and redemption and whatnot (kinda like falling falling stars except im not expecting anything else to be as good as that <3<3<3<3)... is there an ao3 tag for that? and/or like... a collection (honestly not sure how collections work)?

sadly ao3 has not yet learned to read my mind and scrolling thru every fic tagged with 'angst' has been Not Fruitful. sincerest thanks if u do decide to answer!! and have a good day/night regardless!

Hi anon!

So, the term is probably closest to something like 'woobification' or turning a villain into a woobie (terrible things happen to them, everyone feels sorry for them, and they get accepted etc.)

However, this tag is often viewed negatively in fandom so almost no one tags with it. It's very hard to find these kinds of fics and you'll be much better off actually targeting specific villains in fandoms and then looking via tags like angst and hurt/comfort.

For example, these sorts of fics have happened a lot with Loki. You'd be looking for long wordcount Loki angst fics with hurt/comfort as a tag. And then having to weed out specific ones. You might want to start with Lise's series re: Loki and Steve Rogers here, called Remember This Cold. This is nearly a million words long, so it's a good place to start. Loki goes through many traumatising events, and it's nice watching everyone slowly come around to him (some faster than others).

Unfortunately there's no universal tag though, along the way people got shamed for doing this to villains, and so at best you might be able to search for 'redemption arc' but that's not really going to give you the kind of woobification you're probably looking for. I know it happened to Loki a lot, if you go into my bookmarks and search via Thor + Marvel fandoms specifically for longer fics re: Loki, most of them will be like this though.

There are other villains people love to do this to, but none are immediately coming to mind for me. Other folks can add them in the tags! Some villains are more appealing for this than others, so often targeting a character is more fruitful than searching like...all fics for this phenomenon. It's important that the fics be generally longer than about 20,000 words, because that's long enough to establish a decent turnaround redemption narrative. And you'll probably want the hurt/comfort tag as well (though not everyone will have used it.)

Also, Lise does this with other villains too! So that's an author I think you can find a ton of great fics out of if you like her style! (if living can be this, is also very good).

It might not always be villains you know well, but the stories are often very worth it regardless of how familiar you are with the fandom!

It's one of my favourite genres to read (and write), so I appreciate how frustrating it can be to find them!

[keii-starz]

answer any or all I wanna know more about you 👁️👁️

Do you have freckles? 

 Do you drink tea or coffee? How do you take it? 

What was the last song you listened to? 

Do you sleep on your back, stomach or side? 

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? 

Do you prefer drawing or writing? 

What’s your ideal number of blankets to sleep with? 

What’s your favorite band/artist? 

When is your birthday? 

How tall are you? 

What color are your eyes? 

Who are five (or more) people you want to hug right now? 

Fears? 

What’s your favorite color? 

What’s your favorite season? 

Want any tattoos? What of? 

Want any piercings? Where? 

Who is the last person you texted? 

Do you have a best friend? How long have you been friends? 

What/who do you miss? 

How was your day today? 

How much sleep did you get last night? 

Do you believe in aliens? 

When was the last time you cried? Why? 

What’s your favorite decade? 

What are some seemingly childish things you like? 

What’s your favorite book? Or just one you’ve read a few times? 

How are you, really? 

Does it take you a long time to make decisions? 

What are you looking forward to in the near future? 

What are you looking forward to in the distant future? 

If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go? 

Do you sleep with your door open or closed? 

What’s your favorite flower? 

Do you currently have a squish? 

Do you like your middle name? 

Do you prefer dogs or cats? 

Do you have any phobias? 

Do you stay up late?

Do you like the beach? Do you prefer it sunny or cloudy? 

What’s your favorite cartoon? 

Tag 5 of your favorite blogs

Do you have siblings? How many? 

Who was the last person you said “I love you” to? 

Is there anyone you would die for? 

What do you need when you’re sad? 

Have you memorized your phone number? 

Who’s someone you can trust with your life? 

What does your last text say? 

Wild Card. Any question, ask away. 

1. I wish (no) 😔

2. I drink both!!! but I don't drink coffee that often, and when I do, it's only if it has milk and sugar in it! when I drink tea, I usually drink milk tea, or I add milk to my matcha tea, but sometimes I just drink regular tea!

3. DAYDREAM by HIGHLIGHT!!!

4. I sleep on my back, but I actually prefer sleeping on my side!! I just dont sleep on my side most of the time because I sleep with headphones on, and its kinda uncomfortable sleeping on my side with headphones on

5. yes!! my little teddy bear that I got from my bestie!!! I named him lucy

6. hmm I love both a lot, but I'd say drawing!

7. ummm it doesn't really matter for me but I'll say teo because of my blanket I've had since childhood (its too small to cover me now so ofc I have to use another blanket)

8. hmm for band, it'd be LUCY!!! (K-band) I think the violin in their music makes their songs sound even nicer! but my fav part is obv sangyeop's soft voice :3

but for artists in general...hmm there's quite a few, so I'll name them by language! 1. CRAVITY (korean boy group), ZICO (korean soloist, k-hiphop), COLDE (korean soloist, k-r&b), 2. yoh kamiyama (japanese), TUYU (japanese band), 3. jeremy zucker, suggi (english)

9. february 11!

14. sage green!!

15. autumn! not too cold or hot, and not as much bugs!

19. I do! we've been friends since 4th grade!

21. it was great!!! I had so much fun and got to eat a lot of good food!!

24. sometime last week, I think tuesday..I think it had smth to do with my insecurities or like. how I keep getting the feeling I'm not wanted

28. my mental and physical states both suck a ton, but since I've returned home for spring break, im trying to convince myself to not worry about anything and just think of this as a lil vacation just until this is over

31. im definitely looking forward to moving out of my mom's house or just not staying with my family in general...I want to get an apartment where I feel relaxed at when I turn into an adult

32. if I could go anywhere right now...I would probably go to my aunt's house in florida..tbh, I wouldn't say her cooking's (sorry auntie 😔) the best, but I'd probably feel way...calmer? there and less likely to cry so often

34. my favorite flower is the star of bethlehem!!! it's really really pretty!!! im pretty sure it's a poisonous flower tho lol

39. all the time 😊

42. I prefer cloudy days! sunny days are nice, but I don't like getting the sun in my eyes very much, plus the sky is prettier with clouds :3

44. 5 of my fav blogs: @azulashengrottospiano @dove-da-birb @twistwonderlanddevotee @alexisomnias @l7k-a

45. I have 2 siblings! an older brother and younger sister, who is the youngest, but if I didn't tell u this and you met us both irl, you'd probably think shes the older one based on height and personality lol

47. I would die for any of my friends in a heartbeat

48. music!!! I CANNOT go without my music I tell u!!!

49. nope!!! you see, my phone doesn't tell me my phone number, so I always have to ask other people what it is 😐 (my other phone did tho)

50. uhhh hmmm this one is really hard bcuz I don't think I know anyone irl who I can trust with my life but probably...no one..?

[xox-b1te-m3-xox]

yo!! i'm hunter (im 20 yej), i'm also known as lepus / leppy / lele, rev / revolver, uzi, moxie, calware / cal, hornet, freminet / fremmy / frem, wolf, lugia, reshiram / reshi, or any of my other kin names. im gay and cosmoveric errorgender / libramasculine (he/they/neos), see my pronouns page for my neopronouns list & all the kin names i use!!!

professionally i use the names colt and orion !! i don't really use those names on this account though this is my hell fandom space lmfao

im also experimenting with the names dusk and ghost, so if you want to refer to me with those names i don't mind!!

i block minors that interact with my content sorry abt that, its nothing personal, i just dont want kids in my space!! i will prolly forget why i blocked you like 3 years down the line so i might not unblock

IF YOU'RE COMING FROM MY PROFESSIONAL SOCIALS, ABANDON ALL HOPE YE WHO ENTER HERE BECAUSE I AM NOT PROFESSIONAL HERE, SEE MY BSKY FOR PROFESSIONAL CONTENT

cringe culture is dead, so i'm gonna be cringe on main!!!!! im a border collie therian and a furry, so im ultra levels of cringe aren't i, bite me

this post is way too FUCKING long so feel free to read this intro and leave it at that idrc i wrote this for me anyways (/hj)

yes i format my page like a 15 year old so what?? i never mentally recovered past middle school anyways

im medically diagnosed with major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, borderline personality disorder, ADHD, and bipolar 1 disorder........................... ya boi is fucked up god damn (im being medicated for everything and i'm getting therapy don't worry)

in other news, i publish books under the name hunter bunnyfields !!

theres tons of stuff under the cut including the fandoms im into, if my edit requests are open, my kin list, my tags, and my social media!

by the way fuck the algorithm tumblr can suck my metaphysical dick

if you want to you can send me asks about any of the fandoms im into or ships i like just be wary about sending spoiler content (like endings or other paths) unless i've explicitly posted about it before

i'm not gonna bother listing all my ships bc a lot of them are pretty obvious just bc of these post dividers (hunter route is best route fight me idgaf i speak the truth, and im into blondes) but feel free to send me other ships (i will judge you harshly for them /silly)

so moving on, the fandoms im into & games i like include: sonic, cotl, fnaf, pokemon, hyv games (except tot), yttd, undertale, space leaper, afterl!fe, nimona, lackadaisy, minecraft: story mode, professor layton, fnf, bluey, afk journey, hollow knight, mystery skulls animated, resident evil, steven universe, portal, prodigal son, crash bandicoot, ddlc, iron lung, ispwm, nichijou, futurama, coraline, shrek/puss in boots

my hyperfixations that i never stfu about no matter what im currently into are: murder drones, danganronpa, aphmau, my little pony, cookie run, warrior cats, vocaloid/sekai, promare, the legend of zelda, adventure time, camp buddy, ninjago, what lurks beneath, stardew valley, dynasty warriors (specifically 6), minecraft

some things i'm looking to get into/games i'm one day planning to play/tv stuff i wanna watch include: left 4 dead, before your eyes, nine sols, a plague tale, dust: an elysian tale, kingdom hearts, sky, skyrim, klonoa, life is strange, fire emblem, ori & the will of the wisps, somali and the forest spirit, beastars, brand new animal, yellowstone, wicked, the spiderverse, lego money kid, the bad guys, turning red

feel free to ask me about any of them idrc i like talking!!!!!!!! i also forget that im in most of these fandoms half the time and i'm sure there's more i've forgotten to add im just stupid

dont send me spoilers from the things im not into ill block you lol

anyways if you wanna talk stuff i used to be a fan of, then you can also talk to me about: tadc, tower of fantasy, food fantasy, mystic messenger, deltarune, be more chill, dear evan hansen, the walking dead (+ fear & world beyond), ace attorney, mario, among us, tmnt, league of legends, p5 (+ royal), honkai impact 3rd, detroit: become human, bnha, chunibyou, higurashi, alien nine, regular show, harry potter (ew, i know), anything disney/pixar tbh, zootopia, dc/marvel

just keep in mind when talking about the above things that i have not kept up with/indulged in content from these series in years, so my memory might be shot for a lot of them, and i may not remember stories/characters/titles all that well, so yeah just fair warning

yes im a kinnie no i don't care about doubles no i won't tell you my full kin list i'll just randomly drop the fact i kin characters sometimes (this is a lie; i have pretty much all of my kin names on my pronouns page, i've just got some of em as friends only lmao)

if you want a few characters/creatures i personally identify with, if it wasn't already obvious by my intro, my mains are: freminet from genshin impact, uzi from murder drones, moxie from the lonely wolf series, reshiram & lugia from pokemon, & hunter from camp buddy

some of my other major kins include wanderer, herrscher of sentience, vflower, ivypool, jayfeather, starlight glimmer, kokichi ouma, surge the tenrec, kieran (pkmn), finn (at), and lio fotia

i kin more characters those are just the main ones, i'm the worst combination of all your least favourite character tropes!!!!

feel free to ask me about my kins if you want, or ask what kin shift im in idrc, i dont kin shift that much anymore but sometimes i do, i have tons of kin names on my pronouns page so there's that too

i do edits and moodboards sometimes??? i guess?? sometimes i'll make icons or whatever, sometimes i do fancy dividers, hell did you guys know im an artist?? i do art sometimes too, occasionally i do sprite edits if i feel like it but i'm not that good at replicating artstyles so shrugs, mainly just do ur classic 2018 tumblr edits here

so uh if you want some icons or whatever the fuck else i listed

✨ Feel Free To Send Requests ✨

i don't have much of a blacklist other than don't be weird about ships (so no pr*sh*p stuff) and don't ask for nsfw/gorey stuff

but i do edits pretty rarely so don't expect a lot from me lmaooo

for some reason i also made tags for some of my bs ramblings so stuff usually tagged with .txt is miscellaneous bullshit i post (ocasionally some of my posts are funny, i think)

some, but not all of them, may include: legendary post archive.txt, the brainrot.txt, random.txt, art.txt, psa.txt, save.txt/saves.txt, asks.txt, fave.txt signal boost.txt, promo.txt, random.txt, textingronpa.txt, the journal.txt, ask meme.txt

most of my personal ramblings go under random.txt but occasionally i add other stuff, so if the tumblr search function allows you to peruse the tags go ahead idrc if you do

in particular my primary tag is 'the journal.txt', as this is where most of my rambling about my novel series go, i've been working on the series since 2015 so i don't like to shut the hell up about it lmfao

a lot of my posts are LONG POSTS, so if you don't wanna see long posts please blacklist the 'long post tw' tag bc that's what i normally tag them as!!! yes, i mean it, ill post them a lot

if you see something tagged as 'ask meme.txt' whether you're scrolling through my blog or i just reblogged it, you can send me shit for it and i'll find the original psot i swear, send me shit from 13 years ago idgaf ill answer it bc im bored

stuff that goes into 'the brainrot.txt' is usually random fandom shit that pretty much has made a permanent place in my brain, despite my current obsession being different this shit somehow always manages to have a grip on me, and i use this tag a lot so lmao

hey i have a shit ton of ✨ social media ✨ and ✨ miscellaneous bullshit websites ✨ if you wanna check em out, idk why you'd wanna do that tho all my cringeposting is already here

BLUESKY ||��TOYHOU.SE || MY OFFICIAL WEBSITE REDBUBBLE || FANDOM WIKIA || TWITCH || AO3 SQW || WATTPAD || DEVIANTART  || ARTFIGHT COMICFURY || MAIN YOUTUBE || GAMEJOLT PATREON || POKEFARM || FANDOM YOUTUBE

i've got some accs i'm only leaving up to ward off impersonators so i'm not linking them here but if you want to know what they are idrc if you just ask me through the askbox or whateve

[blusical]

PSA: Please for the love of all that is hockey stop censoring the names of teams and players!

No, I'm not being sarcastic. I keep seeing this a lot on a ton of hockey blogs. (for example "d*nn", "p*tr*ck k*ne", "bl*es" or "v*g*s g*ld*n kn*ghts"), and honestly, it's really, really, bugging me, especially as someone who has some team lb tags filtered. I know most of you mean well, but this might not be the best idea. Even if you don't like saying their name. Even if you're censoring it as a joke. Even if you're worried about people you don't like flocking your blog (which, there's a block button for that btw). For one, Tumblr allows you to filter out certain words and tags. And people may already have specific players/filters tagged. If a post contains said filtered word/tag, it'll look like this:

(Image ID: A screenshot of a tumblr post that is flagged to the viewer due to it containing "#bruins lb". The username and profile picture is covered in red. The person has an option to view the post, via a button that reads simply "View post". End ID). By censoring them, Tumblr won't pick it up, and people will still see the post they don't want to see. Additionally, censoring words, especially l*ke th*s (like this) might not be helpful to visually impaired folks, especially those who use screenreaders.

"So, what should I do instead?" If you're talking about something a player did, here's some tag suggestions I have: If you're talking about a player who has assault or abuse accusations against them, you can use "tw assault", "tw abuse", "tw sa" (if the accusation involves sa), "tw violence" or "violence mention" (if violence is involved), or similar tags! If you're talking about someone who has a history of bigotry, try tagging "racism", "ableism", "homophobia", "tw slur" (if there's a slur involved), or other similar tags! I do see people use "tw (team/player)" as well (ex. "tw hawks", "tw auston matthews", "cw wilson" or "cw boston bruins") as well, however, I also discourage against that, because not every hockeyblr user has those filtered, and from my understanding they also aren't that well known. Again, simply tagging the players' names or the name of the team is enough half the time. (And, as a bonus, if you already have "tw (player/team)" tagged, instead of removing them, you can also simply add the player or team name to the tags!) If you're simply trash talking a player or a team... just say the name. It's not that hard, really. However, you can also tag the post with "trash talk" if you don't want people seeing it. Other good tags/words to use include: "rant" or "vent", which can be especially helpful to folks who dont wanna see huge rants, vents or complaints. "tw injury", which you can use to filter out videos or discussions containing injuries. "tw blood" and similar tags can also be helpful if blood is involved. "hockey fight", which can be used for hockey fights. Can be especially helpful since some fights get bloody and do lead to injury. Simply tagging "fight" can also work! "swearing cw", can be helpful for folks who don't want to see posts with heavy amounts of cursing. I advise only using this if there's excessive swearing involved, and not if there's only one instance of a curse word. "slander", which you can use if you're ranting about a player you don't like. And additionally.. "I don't know how filters work!" or "I don't know how to filter words/tags!" Alright so here's what you do: 1. Go to your user settings. 2. Scroll to "content you see". 3. Add the tag or word you want to filter, like this:

(Image IDs: Two screenshots of Tumblr settings. In the "Add a filter" bar are the words "tony deangelo" and "keith". End ID) 4. Click "Add" and bam! You're done! You might need to refresh for it to go into affect. Protip: Filtering out words will filter out all words of a specific phrase/name. For example, if you filter out "Tom Wilson", it will filter out all posts containing both words, even if it doesn't talk about the player. I advise using "Filtered Tags" when filtering out specific players, teams and team lbs.

[fefairys]

ok i wanna make my own tips post for the redditors

hello welcome :] here's some things i've noticed it seems a lot of you aren't aware of. i might add more later:

first of all, PLEASE turn on custom theme! you don't have to actually make or find a theme yourself as it gives you a default one, (but it is really fun and good to personalize your blog however you want) but doing this makes it easier to view and search your own blog, as i will describe later. this makes it so that you will show up at yoururl.tumblr.com and not just tumblr.com/yoururl it gives you your own page! it's good!! you can only tick this setting on desktop:

another very important thing: DO NOT FUCKING REPOST ART WITHOUT CREDIT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. honestly you should not report art without permission at all, but at LEAST credit the artist. and saying "idk who did this but credit to them" DOES NOT COUNT. take some time to reverse google image search and find the artist. if you can't find them, DON'T REPOST!!! turning the art into a meme doesn't mean you don't have to credit the artist!!!!!! AAHHH!! ok.

TAGS/SEARCHING in reblogs, all tags serve to do is (a) leave a bit of quiet commentary, if you're too shy to leave it in the actual body of the post or (b) organize posts on Your Blog Only. tagging a reblog does not make the post show up in the searchable tag. reblogs are not searchable through the tumblr search bar.

to find posts from a certain tag on your own blog, go to yoururl.tumblr.com/tagged/tag. you can also add /chrono to the end of that url to view the posts in chronological order! you actually don't need to tag original posts with every variation of a tag either. for example if you tag something as "r/196", it will show up when just "196" is searched for, because it contains "196" in it. so you dont NEED to tag the post "196, r196, r/196" etc. but i mean. do whatever u want. honestly i think a lot of veteran tumblr users don't even know that. but yeah tagging with a ton of variations like that is unnecessary unless you're spelling something differently or doing an abbreviation as well as a full title, such as "#what we do in the shadows, #wwdits"

also, your posts are searchable by literally any word in the post, whether it be the body, the tags, or even your url. so if your url has 'catboy' in it, and someone searches 'catboy' they will see all of your original posts in the tag lmao. it is pretty stupid but that's how it works.

on that note, FILTERING with filtering tags, it is very specific. so if youre content warning tagging something, please just tag it with the word, like "#blood" because if you tag it "#cw blood" or "#blood ///" people who just have "#blood" blocked, will still see the post! lots of veteran tumblr users don't seem to grasp this either 😭

you can filter out words as well as tags, but that can get tricky because if you filter out "rape" words like "grape" and "drape" will also be blocked, so i only use the word filter to block peoples urls. because even if you have someone blocked, you can still see people reblogging their posts, so if u don't wanna see them at all, block their url as a filtered word.

you can do all of this in the regular ol' 'settings' tab on desktop. on mobile it's settings -> general settings -> filtering

PAGES something i love about tumblr but is getting used less and less is the ability to make separate pages on your blog. the option to do so is all the way at the bottom on the theme customization panel. (only available on desktop tumblr)

nowadays a lot of people just make a carrd and provide a link to that, but tumblr allows you to make your own separate blog pages! a lot of people use this to make "about me" pages, since it provides a lot more freedom than just the "blog description" section! you can put images on there, and just completely code the whole thing yourself! unfortunately, these pages aren't visible on mobile unless you link to them in your blog description (see my blog as an example) using <a href="link">link title</a> lots of people have links like this in their descriptions that lead to about pages or carrds! you should click on these to learn more about the person you're following!!

some people have "DNI (do not interact)" or "BYF (before you follow)" pages to set boundaries on who they do or don't want following them, as a warning of like "hey if you fall under this criteria and you follow/interact with me, you're getting blocked" so those are good to check for! some folks have lots of strong opinions on these that theyre "stupid" or "useless" but really it's just a warning and setting boundaries. like, if you follow me and ur not supposed to, i'm just gonna block you anyway, it was just a warning that that's what was gonna happen!

speaking of blocking, just fuckin' block whoever you want whenever you want. if you find someone annoying just block them. if they post something you don't like just block them. there's no need to get into an argument. just block! and they're gone! wheeee!!

SIDEBLOGS!!! you can have separate blogs from your main one that are connected to your same account! some people have tooooons of sideblogs for every single fandom they're in, some people just use their main for everything. it's up to you!

note that you can only like posts, send asks, follow people, and reply to posts under your main blog url. sideblogs are just for posting and reblogging in a more organized manner :] it's good to say in the description of your side blog what your main blog is so people know who you are when you like and reply to posts and such! (and also to list your sideblogs somewhere on ur main for the same reason. i use the aforementioned about page for this ^u^)

um that's it for now! there's a lot of other things i could talk about, but i'm sure other posts are covering it.. these are just ones i really want to iterate, especially the tags thing cause i think a lot of tumblr users don't even realize that lol ^u^ i've been active as fuck on tumblr since 2013 so I can answer questions if you have any :)

[what-the-hell-is-going-on-here]

yes, i caved and i'm making a proper (???) pinned post

HI!!! call me cervid :3

I LIKE AND FREQUENTLY POST ABOUT VORE AND STUFFING!!!

(not in the gross way i swear hear me out)

i dont like stuffing in a weight gain way (no hate to ppl who do, its just not my thing) and, for vore, i enjoy the g/t, SAFE, SOFT kind (fatal sometimes but not heavily in detail) and nonsexually! i like both of those things in a comfort/show of love thing if that makes sense. i also like g/t just in general. im too lazy to tag any of it unless its for reach purposes (like my writing or other stuff like that) so Watch Out i guess 💀

I do post about normal stuff too!! (i like to draw and write) so ofc i dont mind when "normal" blogs follow but just be aware of what i reblog lol

i dont bite! pls interact 👁️👁️

more info (fandoms, my works, likes/dislikes, dni) under the cut because this is Long...

the kind of vore/stuffing things that i do NOT like (keep in mind if u wanna suggest/send something):

-heavily detailed hard vore/more on the gore side

-death feedism

-feedism specifically for like.. weight gain

-unrealistic stuffing/vore (like. when their tummy is bigger than the rest of their body SORRY ITS JUST NOT MY THING)

-most pregnancy stuff

(ill add to this later)

im into a ton of fandoms but currently 2001: a space odyssey, electric dreams, ultrakill, inscryption, fallout new vegas, and i have no mouth and i must scream are overtaking my brain, if you are one of the rare ppl who like those and like vore/stuffing too PLEASE SEND ME ASKS. PLSSSS IM DESPERATE LITERALLY ANYONE CAN SEND ME VORE OR STUFFING RELATED ASKS PLEEEAAASEEEEEEEEEEEEEE IM BEGGING. I LOVE WRITING ABOUT STUFF PLS

also im otherkin! so ill reblog that stuff too (yes im weird, yes i take pride in that)

my sona is below ^_^

some of my works are below!

https://www.tumblr.com/what-the-hell-is-going-on-here/734572176007741440/am-vore-hcs-ihnmaims?source=share ihnmaims vore hcs - AM

https://www.tumblr.com/what-the-hell-is-going-on-here/733758413915422720/use-this-to-talk-about-soft-vore-i-wanna-know-how- misc soft vore ramble

https://www.tumblr.com/what-the-hell-is-going-on-here/747607936331907072/ultrakill-vore-doodles-3 ultrakill vore doodles :D

https://www.tumblr.com/what-the-hell-is-going-on-here/754941524823916544/enjoy-lol fallout: new vegas vore doodles w/ vulpes and the courier

my fandom-specific vore tags (and other special tags) are

#electric noms (for electric dreams)

#i have no mouth and i must vore (for ihnmaims)

#cervid talks (for plain text posts, usually abt vore/stuffing brainrot, or any other time i think i should use it)

#ultranoms (for ultrakill)

#fallout: nom vegas (for fallout: new vegas)

#cervid works (for any original art/writing, not necessarily vore/stuffing but probably will be)

I am not the best at organization and I will definitely miss stuff but bear with me yall o7

please dni if-

-you are a purely nsfw blog (yes this goes for vore blogs that are sexual)

-you're gonna argue abt my interests

-you are deeply uncomfortable if you see vore/stuffing posts (dont wanna risk seeing it? then pls dont follow!) not saying all my followers have to like it just dont follow if seeing the occasional post will make u rlly grossed out

-youre an asshole. come on have some standards just dont be weird... plss....

thanks

[straighttxhell]

Get to know me! 💋

So,, @the-type-a tagged me in this like 8 months ago and never got a chance to do it cause tumblr kept deleting the draft but I am procrastinating doing my final project to graduate college so here goes nothing

Thanks for the tag and feel free to do it again cause lmao it's been a whike

🖌 - Do you have/want any tattoos?

No I wanna get a spider gwen tattoo but I dont have a ton of money rn

💚 - What’s your favourite colour?

Pastel pink 🩷

🍕 - What’s the last thing you ate?

Spinach Pasta

🕰 - What time is it where you are rn?

11:27 pm (when i started, its 11:50 now)

🌟 - What is your zodiac sign?

Sagittarius sun, Taurus moon, and Aquarius rising.

I also have Venus and Mars in Scorpio so that pretty much sums up why I'm insane.

🌍 - What is your favourite accent?

I really enjoy cockney accents, Daniel Kaluuya's in particular. Maybe it's just his voice.

⚡️ - Do you have any scars?

Yes, I accidentally stabbed my thigh, also accidentally cut it with a blade, and my legs are covered in permanent bruises from when I danced.

🌺 - What’s your MBTI type?

Every time I do it I get smth different, so either INTP or ISFP??

🥀 - Favourite animated movie?

SPIDER-VERSE!!!!!! MY ENTIRE LIFE

I CHOSE MY CAREER BC OF IT

📺 - Favourite show?

The Office probably, or Community, I really like sitcoms

😂 - Are you ticklish?

Isn't everyone??

💍 - Do you ever want to get married?

Yes, I am one of those ppl that want to meet like their one true love and get married and spend our entire lives together

😳 - Do you like your name?

It triggers me a little so I don't like to be called by it but I like the name by itself a lot

💙 - What colour is your bedroom?

Like a beige green, I hate it but it came like that and am too lazy to paint it

🤓 - How did you get your name?

My mom liked it thats it lol

🎓 - When did/do you graduate?

This month hopefully, my ceremony isn't until January tho

🍄 - Do you have/want any piercings?

Yeah I have the normal ones, two in my left ear and one in my right ear so I can freely forget to wear earrings Id add a pick but I dont want to

👀 - What colour are your eyes?

Veeeery dark brown

👱🏻‍♀️ - What is your go to hairstyle?

A messy bun, I like having it down although it's mostly hot here so that's not possible, and sometimes I do have to put it in a bun cause my hair is really really thin and straight so it tangles incredibly easy and it takes me a good 5 minutes to brush it and I tend to be in such a hurry every morning I simply can't afford to do that

🥂 - Have you ever drank underage?

Yes I didn't know tho lol I was 14 and drinking funny tasting grape juice at sleepovers, my friends thought I knew lol uhmm but yeah after that I stopped until I was 18 and back from quarantine

🍾 - Have you ever gotten drunk?

Don't take me as a role model please, but yes and I love getting drunk, I've never blacked out but I do remember every now and then funny memories like huh I forgot I did that 🥰 Also I've only once drank so much I puked it all up next morning

😱 - What’s your biggest fear?

Roaches?? Not trying to get too deep

🥵 - Would you rather be too hot or too cold?

Hot. I hate not being able to move bc of cold, my body aches so bad when its cold.

🌦 - What’s your favourite weather?

Cloudy, rainy and not cold, like eventually the sun comes out yknow

🍂 - What’s your favourite season?

Fall

🐷 - What’s your favourite animal?

Catssss

🐶 - Do you have any pets?

2 cats!! And my sister has 2 dogs but they're also kinda mine ig

😴 - What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

No idea, I am way too sleep deprived to notice at the end

🎨 - Any hobbies?

Drawing, painting, video editing and designing, anything creative

🛩 - If travelling was free, where’s the first place you’d go?

New York 😭😭😭 if i had a visa also Id love to stay at the plaza hotel

🎇 - What’s your most searched thing on Google?

Probably Taylor Swift?? or the Spice Chalk Stretch Naked Wokfe boots

📱 - Favourite app on your phone?

PINTEREST, a girl without pinterest is an angel without wings..

🤠 - Are you more of a city person or a country person?

City by far, I've spent all my life in the city and wouldn't stand not having everything I have here

Tagging: @spnyuri @queer-cosette and idk who is still active here but whoever wants to do it

[adaricruz]

hi! usually scared to send asks to people but i would like to hear your connor headcanons because i want to know the lore behind all of your extremely pretty connor drawings

HII omg dont be !! pls feel free to send stuff whenever !! ok so i have TONS of connor hc’s ( i’ve been writing as him & for him for years now ) but here’s my faves + the ones that are usually present in my art . ( gotta mention that some are very personal & self indulgent bc i see myself in connor a LOT 😭 ) tw for a quick mention of razors .

- i made a post abt this hc here but i’m adding it because it’s the main reason why i use a certain color for connor’s hair , & that is that connor is a ginger ( just like zoe & cynthia ) & he dyes his hair a darker color so he doesn’t look much like them ( & he doesn’t get associated with zoe much at school ) he usually uses a dark brown or even black , but it’s usually very sloppy so his hair ends up being patchy in some areas or just not dark enough .

- connor uses he / they pronouns mostly bc they’re very detached to his gender identity because they don’t feel human most of the time . connor looks in the mirror & doesn’t think ‘ boy ‘ , most of the time he thinks ‘ failure ‘ , ‘ disappointment ‘ , ‘ monster ‘ . he’s also unlabeled & mostly finds male presenting ppl attractive but has been with female presenting ppl a few times . ( i’ll mostly use he / him in tags but in my writing i will use both set of pronouns ! )

- ik freckles have been a recurring headcanon for connor throughout the years in the fandom but i wanna add it too bc his freckles mean so much to me . a connor without freckles is like an angel without its wings likeee ! ( i usually add freckles to charas that i like tho ) they are usually more present over his cheeks , shoulders & chest . some on his hands & thighs too . for a while , connor fucking HATED them , & i once wrote a lil thing where he even tried to remove a particularly big one near his lip w a razor . ( i add it to my drawings a lot , if you check it’s above the right ( his left ) corner of his lip )

- his hair length varies a lot in my stuff bc i’ll sometimes get carried away & make it longer for aesthetic or composition purposes , but i do believe connor would def let it get longer than shoulder length ( not small of his back like in some of my stuff , but definitely to half of his chest maybe ? ) larry def gives him shit abt it & only encourages him to keep it longer & longer .

- this is also a recurring hc but imma mention it too & that’s eyeliner . & tons of it . i’ll sometimes make it smudged bc connor will prob cry & it’ll run . once he’s done he’ll just apply more over it . & black nail polish too ofc .

- I LOVEEEE music headcanons for connor & here’s my faves ( keep in mind my connor is mostly set in the 90’s )

• nine inch nails ( very self indulgent bc i love them sm ) his fave album is pretty hate machine ( mine too 🧍🏻)

• alice in chains

• cowboy junkies ( this hc is a reference to my ship with tate from ahs & the movie natural born killers )

• the offspring

• the cranberries

• suicidal tendencies ofc

• pearl jam

• adolescents

• bad religion

• & the canon ones ( shown in the buttons on his messenger bag ) being dead kennedys , circle jerks , misfits

obviously tons more ( my connor playlist has over 200 songs ok ) but these are the most present ones in his record collection <3

- born in april 20 & is an INFP ( idk shit abt the mbti stuff ok i had to ask a friend & stuff to figure it out LMFAOO this one sounds right tho , for my version for connor at least )

SO YEAH these are the ones that can be seen in my art ( besides the music one ) & ofc if i added all my hcs it would be impossible to scroll down thru this post 💀 tysm for asking this btw ! just so u know my connor art is under the tag ‘ connor murphy ac ‘ & i sometimes add part of the lore & hcs under them ! if u wanna know a specific one lmk i’ll be more than happy to share more of my silly lil hcs with u 🖤🫶

[hipster--kitten]

Got tagged by @davetheovercastmoose for this and I'm definitely happy to answer :D

Last song I listened to: MUST DIE! - LOL OK (Habstrakt remix), it was the last song I played while listening to music during and after my shower :3 I recently got a new speaker with excellent bass so I've been listening to lots of really bassy tunes when I've been showering lately (moreso than before, i mean)

Currently watching: Honestly nothing right now? At least in terms of TV shows, I have been watching YouTube still of my usual channels though (most notably Tom Scott, Extra Credits/History, and Half as Interesting). The last show I've watched (that I'm actually not entirely finished yet) is Hamtaro, my gf showed it to me and we've so far gone through most of the episodes, its become a bit of a comfort show for me now c:

Currently reading: uhhh nothing honestly, I have a fairly short webnovel I've been needing to finish but haven't read in like a year >.> and I wanna get around to reading the Guild Wars novels since I got them for my gf and she quite enjoyed them, and I'm also already very interested in the stories/lore for reasons mentioned below xD

Current obsession: Guild Wars Guild Wars Guild Wars Guild Wars!!!! It has absolutely been my obsession for over a year now, I genuinely can't get enough of it and I could talk about it all day xD Guild Wars 2 is seriously an amazing game and an amazing MMO with a really interesting and well written world/universe and story, it also has tons of well done cannonical queer character including at least 3 main characters (along with a fairly prominent agender character in the newest expansion). Just, the game has brought me so much joy, I've loved making OCs out of my game characters, playing through the story with my gf, absorbing every last bit of lore I can, and going through the awesome achievements and side-stories. The last things I'll say about it are: the community is extremely kind and helpful, the game even incentivizes helping one another, and the base game is free so I strongly recommend all my followers check it out, even if you don't generally like MMOs because it's doesn't have a lot of the typical MMO trappings and can be played entirely solo (it also doesn't have any subscriptions and is instead buy-to-play, unlike most MMOs). If any of my mutuals do get into the game please let me know as I'd love to add you as a friend in game!

Thanks for tagging me in this Dave, I dont know if I've ever actually done one of these on tumblr before so it was a lot of fun to do and get tagged in :D I'll tag @sdrowie, @spacetai, @electricplants, @colorful-starry-sky, and anyone else who may see this and feel up for it, no pressure at all if you don't want to though :)

[ventrue-in-control]

Jackie Mczyne

since I never made one before cuz im bobo the fool

Name: Jackie Emanual Abdul Mczyne Pronouns: he/him they/them age: 25 forverer but 70 in total (30-7) Nationality: British-Tanzanian Species: Vampire (VTM) Clan: Ventrue Sect: Camarilla Location: Andover (primarily) and Swindon (secondary) Personality: egotistical anarchistic idiot Partner: @misericorsalvator Sire: @keeper-of-lions Notes: This man is a germaphobe and has a bit of OCD. Also can NOT handle physical toutch what so ever. If he was a bird he would be an impundulu

There are no specific rules for interacting with my blog! Just dont be focking racist cuz ill feed your kidneys to the dogs

THINGS ARENT TAGGED SO BE WARNED OF GORE BLOOD AND WHAT HAVE YA NOT you can of course ask me to tag certain things I will appologize because I may very well forget orz plz do remind me.

More rambles under the cut off

You've unlocked the extra rambles! congrats! Im so sorry as this may just be incomprehensible

first of all Hi! Im birdy, 24 years old, a black trans animator from the netherlands. I do da drawing and da makin of da gaymes. I stream on twitch you are always free to reach out to me here in DM's or else on discord The-Nerdy-Birdy#0918 <- JUST BE AWARE I was terrible social anxiety and I may be slow to respond THAT'S NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU PLEASE KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU Im just silly :3 and have my moments. I promise ya tho I love to talk and ramble.

WITH THAT OUTTA THE WAY MY BOI OH HOW I LOVE HIM SO HE CAN SOMETIMES BE A BIT OF A BITCH AND I AM SORRY. HE CAN BE MEAN. ITS JUST A CHARACTER THOUGH BUT IF I EVER GO TOO FAR LET ME KNOW PLEASE I DONT WANNA HURT NOBODY

anyways, quick summary about jackie.

Jackie went through a lot in his living years! going through the 50s to the 80s as a black man in the uk certainly was something! He used to be a genuine sweet and caring kid and now he still cares but hes very jaded by the world. He used to be part of the british black panther party and he has many opinions bout stuff and politics! but he has quited down quite a bit after his embrace.

he has a bit of a shortfuse cuz folk keep threathening him and hurting him so he is quite defensive. sadly he does not have the brains to see yet that he himself also hurts people and he should be a bit nicer to folk sometimes!

He cares tons about his friends and those who he considers fam. he does not enjoy seeing folk get hurt but.... if push comes to shove he will always choose himself. hes all he has. and all he can rely on and nobody is worth destroying himself over. atleast he'd like to think that. he does however often finds himself choosing his friends over himself and he hates it.

EHHHH FASHION WISE. He basically runs a GIANT company called SALMON which both makes ready to wear as haute couture. he is not the sole designer of it al. but he is most well known. he is a bit of a control freak with his company (not much better outside it either) so he will pick up more work than he should resulting in him always stressing about something.

he has many other companies also and a whole buncha other lore PLEASE ASK ME BOUT ME BOI HE IS ALMOST 10 YEARS OLD AND HE MEANS A LOT TO ME.

EHHH IDK WAT ELSE TO ADD SO U GET SMALL FUN FACTS!

Jackie is terrified of moths his handwriting is actually a perfect typewriter font he is really good at math! unlike me! cant see shit without his glasses was part of the british black panther movement HIS FEEDING RESTRICTION IS FOR ME TO KNOW AND YOU TO FIGURE OUT TEEHEE He wishes to become prince someday fave color is salmon of course.

HAVE SOME MORE ART OF HIM ALSO

HIS COTERIE BTW HOW COULD I FORGET! He is actually from a still active chronicle! though I most things on dash arent like canon lol In order the characters are: Tommy Riley Jackie Ada and Chris. they all hate each other and they has an awful time together :)

[fdrsamericanflagduckfloaty]

I wanna read one of your president fics but I have like .5% knowledge about the US presidents so could you give me a rundown on the presidents in one of the fics I should read-? Also why do you know so much. Are you planning on becoming a history major-

okay so like ngjfgkbh its below but read tags for all issues mentioned:

the chatfic is basically all of them so i cant run down ALL of them, but basically fuck LBJ, fuck reagan, fuck jefferson, fuck FDR, fuck like... a hella ton of those mfs. stan bobby kennedy and jack kennedy. for the linken fic, JFK was obviously the the 35th president. He was involved in the Space Race between the USA and the Soviet Union for like, basically who can get in space faster. His Presidency carried most of the Cold War and he actually started to draw back soldiers from Vietnam and TRIED to repair this stupid ass government, but LBJ said 'fuck that' and put the soldiers back. His soldiers were... uh... well... cant explain but illegally horrible.

Lincoln, 16th President, Civil War. Was Republican which I know sounds hella unusual but back then, parties were basically switched. Hell, Jackson, one of the worst who did the Trail of Tears which took Native Americans' land and forced them off of it, created the Democratic Party. His Presidency was mostly on the Civil War but of course the Emancipation Proclamation came through. The War was originally states rights but became slavery real quick. States--mostly the South, which made up the Confederacy--receded from the start and boom it started. Once it was over they began to come back. Bro got shot ofc as you know. Was hella sad and depressed and had mommy issues + abandonment issues + was probably bisexual.

JFK probably was too, and there's a BUNCH of weird coincidences between them, so that's why LinKen exists. One of the best nicknames i've seen for them is Headshot Homos. He had chronic illness + his back was always in pain and he had to take a shit ton of pills for it. He may've been SA'd as a kid too, which leads into the hypersexual activity, and that leads to the cheating.

SO TL;DR: you dont need to know just about anything to read the fics. I barely go for historical accuracy. For the notes, it's usually at the end where I add in any fun history facts, most of which are on TR because... well. They are. The chatfic and some references may not make sense if you don't know some stuff, but the comments--the 100+ there are, or 200+ i dont remember--have a bunch of facts in them by some super cool ass readers/friends. There's two other chatfics made inspired by mine, and the one by JFKMyBeloved has a bunch of facts in I believe both chapters notes. The other is hella accurate probably too.

Overall you can go in and see them as original characters and you're good. I'll explore the trauma as I have in chapter 11 throughout. And as I said any TR shit WILL be explained because I can't stop including that mf in EVERYTHING 💀💀

and tbh it just started as a hamilton phase, became more, and soon i was reading a fuck ton of books. i guess my brain decided TR would be my ONE president that I care the most about. 2000+ pages have been put into learning about this mf and HOURS of documentaries and reading his letters to his kids (it's in a book, A Bully Father, 10/10 with some spelling mistakes though). So I can barely tell you about the others but I WILL tell you abt TR ahsjdkfghnm

so yeah kind of i guess. if political science doesnt work, it's history, and then english. that's my Plan A, B, and C in order.

[angelicalbones]

got 80% of a wall done w this first round of painting for today! my hands hate having to do this type of work and my biceps are screaming but i feel like thats great progress as i have another painting window later this evening if my hands arent swollen up to balloons like they are trying to do right now

its looking like i will more than likely need a second coat but this base coat gives me a good blank canvas to decide the details I wanna add

the entire basement is this god awful 70s wood paneling so theres these little channels between each panel that im thinking about painting like a a really crystlline blue color. Im going for a very mid 00s fruiter aero see through technology vibe so i feel like that will give a really bright and airy look that i want which means the second coat can wait till i get a brighter white for the base color and then the blue that i want

im also thjinking about adding glitter just bc i fuckin can. my parents literally never use this room so they danm well wont use it even after i leave so im just gonna go fucking nuts

also im realizing that i talk a shit ton about like my every day life and not just 3d shit bc this is just basically my fuckin journal so like if you dont wanna see these innocuous BS posts you can black list the tag

#dailyangeliclife

ill tag all of my completly not 3d/mh related shit w that so its easier to keep it from clogging up timelines lmao

[lighthousegod]

This isn't miraculous related, just a vent. Using this site like reddit cause reddit sucks.

So like. Hear me out here.

I've had some shit friends before. Like, the gaslight, gatekeep, getawayfromme kind. And I ended that relationship, and the friend I have an issue with now is WORLDS better than the toxic ones I've had in the past. So trust me when I say I know this could be worse.

However,

Every time I talk to this friend I just get SO pissed off. She has PTSD, as well as OCD, and she just got taken off of some medication a few weeks ago, which has made things really hard for her. And I've been trying to be patient and be there for her. But I'm about to be at my mf limit y'all.

So the main issue is the complaints. Usually, I dont mind complaining, I'm pretty pessimistic myself so I do understand. It's hard not to. But god, every conversation we have is about how horrible her life is. Any time we talk, it always wraps back around to how "her brain hates her" and she can't catch a break. It's exhausting.

It's pretty clear that shes not lying, though. Something really is wrong. She has been missing class cause she has trouble making herself get out of bed, and her grades are steadily dropping. I know she doesn't want that and really beats herself up about it. And I have empathy for her, because I really do understand. I'm diagnosed with depression myself, and man, it takes me a LONG time to get myself ready in the mornings for that very reason. I take a lot of steps to make sure I have no other choice but to get out of bed. I even tried to share some of those strategies with her, like setting your alarm or phone far away from where you sleep so you have to at least get up to turn it off. Of course, she provided an excuse to why she cannot do that.

Now, more recently its gotten worse. I can't tell if I'm fed up or if she's gone downhill, or both. To preface, we spend a LOT of time with each other. We're both in college, and we're basically each others only friends. We knew each other in high school, so this isnt a new friendship. I could go on for another essay length post ab how I wish I would've forced myself to make friends at the beginning of the year instead of relying on her, but that's not what this is about.

So, she has OCD. She also has a lot of health issues, like allergies and asthma and all that. Pre-serum steve rogers comes to mind, except not that severe, of course. So, with these things combined, she's become a bit of a hypochondriac. Any time she has a cold, it's basically the end of the world. She'll convince herself she has a fever even if she hasn't taken her temperature, and hole herself up inside her room saying she's too sick to walk. Of course, when it all comes down to it, she usually doesn't have anything specific wrong with her, just a bad cold. Or maybe nothing at all. Now, I should preface that with this pandemic, I am certainly not saying she shouldn't be cautious. However, at this point, she has been tested and she is indeed negative for covid. She didn't even have a fever. And yet, I am still eating lunch alone, like I have been for days. I'm still receiving texts about how miserable she is for having to do her laundry or attend class in her state. I'm not her, so I can't say that this sickness is being blown out of proportion or not, but man is it exhausting anyway.

This situation where she leaves me to fend for myself for days, complaining the whole time, only to come back and have me by her side to keep her company, has become a trend. It's hard to let her wallow in her dorm alone like I do, because I'm usually so sick of sitting with my own thoughts that I take any opportunity to have some human interaction. If she's done self-isolating, I'm there. Even if I leave her company feeling worse than before. This is a weird issue to deal with as an introvert, so I'm navigating is as well as I can.

The last issue I have is the one I'm the most unsure about. This is because, as much as I've been complaining about her, she is actually a good friend to me most of the time. She is one of the only people that has ever let me talk to her about my problems, and recognized them as real problems instead of dramatics. For a while, I thought our relationship was strong, considering how many times we had talked about our respective traumas to each other. I truly can't thank her enough for letting me talk through some hard times over message with her.

But it's been a lot different lately. When I talk about my issues, it always circles back to hers. Her past is horrible, and the reason for her ptsd, so I completely support her talking about it openly instead of internalizing it. But man, she talks about it a LOT. I think its partly my fault, as I have trouble controlling my tone when talking about my mental health, past, etc. Its hard for me to be vulnerable like that, so I usually have a sort of neutral, emotionless tone. Even leaning towards the lighthearted side sometimes. Because of this, I assume she thinks its fine to talk about her problems too, because I dont sound upset. But when she brings up her issues, it does usually end up with her being sad or angry and me replying with a lot of "yeah, that's awful" and "man that really sucks, why would he do that to you." Its not that she DOESN'T listen to me, like I said, I do talk about my problems to her. It just feels disingenuous when the conversation always ends in us talking about her trauma, even if I started it by opening up about my own. And because I talk about mine some too, it feels wrong to tell her I'm not in a good place mentally to talk about hers. I'm really not in such a bad place that I cant handle her talking about her past, or even her present struggles. But it feels like mine are just- idk, overlooked? (Not to mention, any time I've confronted her about these things she apologizes profusely, but ends by telling me she's already internalized what I've said to her, and that she needs to talk to her therapist. Of course, she covers it with a lighthearted, self deprecating tone. But I still feel like shit. And somehow, she's the victim again.)

I've been struggling a lot lately, with a lot of similar issues (depression especially, although I have mental illnesses that she doesn't share, and vice versa. I realize our situations are not the same.) And I've even told her, or tried to. I know that people deal with depression in all different forms, but it's hard not to feel a bit of resentment when she complains about not being able to get out of bed. Like, god, I know. I really, really do. I have to scare myself awake with my alarm and force myself out of bed to turn it off. I have to wake up such a long time before my class starts because I get stalled with every step I take. So much of my mornings are spent staring at the floor in a loop of thoughts about how badly I want to get back in my bed and pretend I don't exist. But, lo and behold, I get to class. I cant afford to miss. And I know skipping class isn't good, it feels awful, I know that guilt well. But still, listening to her complain about not going to class feels like listening to someone complain about not being able to run into fire because they're not fireproof. No one's fucking fireproof. But still, here I am, covered in burns every day. Listening to someone whine about how horrible it is to watch everything burn from their window.

No, I don't feel the guilt of not trying. But that doesn't mean it's easy. That doesn't mean I come out unscathed.